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Is Gender Tribalism Going too Far?

Is Gender Tribalism Going too Far?


THE FIRST PART OF THIS POST: MY EVOLUTION OF THINKING AS A PERSON, RELATING HOW I THINK THE TRUMP MOVEMENT IS A GOOD EXAMPLE TO LOOK TO PERTAINING TO GENDER PROPPING.  SKIP TO 2 paragraphs RIGHT ABOVE THE 1ST PICTURE TO GET RIGHT INTO THE GENDER STUFF. I tried my best to make sense. Also, my views pertain to how we do things in the states, not so much in other countries. I can only speak from experience and that experience is within my own country.



I want to start an open, objective, and rational conversation about the growing polarization I see between men and woman in our culture today, (at least in the States). Worldwide woman have been considered the weaker sex. The emotional, insufficient other half, but today things are different, today we have pink pussy hats at the biggest protest ever, and it was a women’s march! We have the “Me too” movement illuminating the scumbaggery in many industries. We have the International Day for Woman and Girls in Science, and the International Day of Woman. Haven’t you heard? The Future is Female. I hear a pendulum, and its a swingin’.


A couple years ago you would have met a very different me. A recreationally outraged social justice warrior, if you will. I wouldn’t listen or even entertain positions different than mine, and I would tell you there was no biological difference between men and woman, that we were equal in everything from strength to intellect. I would have deleted you, unfriended you, insulted you and down right throw a temper tantrum and feel as if I had no control over that reaction. How flipping embarrassing right? Over the years I have changed and I chalk a lot of that up to getting really deep into podcasts, following people of radically diverse views on twitter, and having conversations with my boss who sees the world differently and is able give me a glimpse of that view. Most things are nuanced AF. I listen to The Joe Rogan Experience who has amazing guests that have blown my mind on ideologies, tribalism, marxism, religion, terrorism, evolution and our cultures perpetuance of polarization.

If you want to know a couple of those people they are below else wise SKIP!


From listening to these conversations or ones like them, I stepped out of my bubble and looked around. I tried to reflect introspectively and figure out why I reacted the way I did; emotional, erratic, a straight up buffoon. I figured it out, I did not know how to argue my point. I could scream and yell in frustration, but to articulate my stance and validate it with logic and reasoning was beyond my ability, I would just go through a blind emotional rage and yell until I was the loudest in the room. This was one reason, the other is ego. No matter who you are, people don’t like being wrong and I really hated it, but if you are not willing to be wrong, you are not willing to change, and if you are not willing to change, you will not evolve. Do you think you are a finished product as you are today? I'm not, I realized that. It’s ok to change your mind, make the best decisions you can with the data you have available at the time and when new data becomes available, re-evaluate and update! And thats kind of what I started doing. GROOVY.


I am talking about my evolution because the way I use to be and still struggle to not be, is what I see a lot of the radical leftists do and its DANGEROUS! We have riots and protests at schools like Berkeley, why? To prevent a political pundit like Ben Shapiro from talking, thats insane! Ben is a pretty logical (besides religion), and rational man and he will critique Trump along with the rest of them, he just has different fundamental beliefs and that in itself is enough for a lot of people to prevent him from talking. What happened to freedom of speech? Freedom of speech is sacrosanct you do not MESS WITH IT! I don’t care if your little feelings are hurt or you don’t like what you hear, for goodness sake, stick your fingers in your ears and move on with your damn life if you are more comfortable residing in your echo chamber. I am going to explore, I am going to listen, I am going to have a conversation. 


How does freedom of speech play into the polarization of men and woman you may be asking yourself? Ill tell ya! The radical lefts decision to shut down thoughts and conversations adverse to their own is, in my opinion, part of how Trump got elected and still has a massive following. Stay with me here I promise it will make sense. I am going to create an analogy. Lets say Joe Shmo is a Neo-Nazi and he wants to tweet his views, youtube them, and talk on campuses. Twitter and youtube shut him down for having “controversial views,” (I shit you not, they have been deleting and demonetizing people on youtube if they are “controversial” and not 150% lefty views, INSANE!), protestors won’t let Joe speak on campus, ANTIFA is out causing havoc and violence, Joe doesn’t get to speak. Well Joe is going to go home even more fired up and convinced he’s right than ever before. He is going to assume he is right and you just want to prevent his message because he’s right and you know it. Joe thinks his views are just, and if he could just get his message across he would have a massive following.  He begins a new account outraged about the lack of freedom of speech and begins conversing with others that are not Neo-Nazi’s, but fall on the right of political views and these people too are being banned from platforms for being “controversial.” Now what? Well you just galvanized a movement and even though all of these people are not Neo-Nazis, they are right-wingers and now they are banning together and they don’t care if the whole government self destructs, they will be damned if another lefty gets in office further castrating their constitutional rights. BOOM WE HAVE TRUMP. 


What would happen if we let Joe talk, tweet, and youtube? I am speculating here, but in the past when people come out with ridiculous views, we as a society shun them and that shit works! People have a need to be apart of a group so when you actively shun them they realize that maybe they should re-evaluate their stance, maybe, just maybe, they are full of shit. Let Joe speak ya’ll, people like Joe always succumb to their own shortcomings, they dig themselves into a hole, they forget to bring a rope, and no one comes to save them. Let Joe SPEAK!


Now, lets apply this thought pattern to the polarization of genders. Today all over the web THE FUTURE IS FEMALE, Is it only female? It seems like in the states if a man asks a question like James Demore (The Google Memo Dude-3 hr podcast with him on JRE HERE), like should we just be putting women in tech positions just for the sake of balancing things out or should we evaluate why woman and men are drawn to different things and try and address the problem from a logical standing? HE GOT NUKED WITH RIDICULE. He was called every name in the book, he was fired, backlisted why? Because he asked a question? Apparently as a man you are not allowed to ask questions on this touchy subject, I can't imagine as a young boy in school asking questions to understand, do they get a finger wagged at them and told to shut up they are not allowed to have an opinion about woman because we are so oppressed? I don't care who you are, you should be allowed to ask questions. 


We have National Days now, ok cool? I personally don’t think I should get a day for being born with a vagina do you? That being said, you shouldn't get one for just being born with a penis either (there is a national day for men but no one really celebrates it, would they be allowed to in todays society without being castigated?). Do you think being born a certain gender is an accomplishment? I don’t, I didn’t have a choice in the matter. I find it equivalent to congratulating someone for being pregnant, is that really an accomplishment? YAY you had sex and you’re making a human? (there are instances when this is not true I get that.) I reserve congratulations and praise for accomplishments not occurrences, not haphazards, not gender. I do however love the International Day for Woman and Girls in Science, why? It actually supports an accomplishment, woman entering into traditionally male dominated fields and thriving. That deserves a day, and a congrats. Lets have a SUPER DUPER HUMAN DAY, where we just celebrate everyone who has catapulted our species forward rather than a gender specific holiday? 


I spend a lot of time on Instagram as I am sure you may know and I see so many woman being propped up in STEM its absolutely beautiful, but what don’t I see? I do not see the same for men, why? Are we suppose to stop pushing people into STEM if they are male until its a 50/50 balance male to female? WHY? WHY? WHY? This doesn’t make sense to me. I personally want to inspire anyone and everyone to enter into science, The more beautiful brains we have, the better world we can create together, am I right? So why de-suade someone? Or maybe not actively de-suade, but not motivate someone to enter into such fields because they are a man? I don’t get it. Woman do a great job of supporting each other nowadays, but men don't do it for one another. Is this their fault? Would society allow men to start propping each other up right now? I don't, I think their would be backlash.


So say this female future movement carries on for the next decade. With special girl targeted STEM programs as seen today. High schools, middle schools, and elementary schools promoting woman and girls in science and math and they're not actively putting boys and men down, but they’re not targeting them equally either, is this what you want? Because that is what is happening. I posed a question on Instagram the other day and granted, I should not have asked ON International Day for Woman, but I thought it was important to ask, and my goodness did I pay for it hahaha.


My question: “How do we honor women without isolating and breeding resentment in men and boys of younger generations that are no part of the patriarchy?” 

Photo by FotografiaBasica/iStock / Getty Images

Photo by FotografiaBasica/iStock / Getty Images


For every visceral response, I got at least 6 people willing to openly discuss it and that shit moved me. I was not meaning to take away from women and their day I just think its an important question to address as a societal whole. I had a instafriend message me and say “My son told me the other day that only woman can be a scientist.” WHAT? Is this not EXACTLY what was done to woman in the past? This is perpetuating the cycle of oppression, THIS IS WHAT I AM WORRIED ABOUT! Teaching k-12 is dominated by females so if we have subconsciously biased teachers, they can be damaging our youth without even realizing it. That's no bueno. 


So say this generation of men and boys grow up and realize they have been oppressed by society all because they are male. Putting myself in their shoes, I would be pissed, I would be outraged, I would start a movement, and the pendulum swings back the other way. Resentment and anger is fueled and now its towards woman....... again. 


So what made me think of this? Well what happened with Trump and I read a lot and I listen to a lot of podcasts and I hear a sense of frustration from some men/boys. It is kind of hard to be a good dude in a perceived sea of scum right about now. It seems like all men are lumped into this idea of “me too” criminals. Not every dude is, “apart of the patriarchy,” I know crazy thought right? But they’re not. Some are just good people that have penises, get over it, I know its frustrating that they can pee standing up and we can’t, but they have she-cups now that allow you to do such things #innovate :) . The men I speak to don’t use their maleness to get ahead or put woman down, they are just living life bro! For every misogynistic asshat I have met, I have met an equally amazing dude that helped me succeed, so I cant in good conscious condemn all men because at the moment it happens to be the popular thing to do. Do you think all cops are bad due to the amount of police brutality in the media today? Or do you think there are some bad apples in the bunch? I think the latter, and I can’t think the latter about one subject and not apply it to another. Some men are bad apples, and some are awesome. It's about time we distinguish between the two, especially for upcoming generations. 


So where does my fear about the female future really go? I worry that the world is being saturated with putting woman on a pedestal. I am always hearing, “their needs to be more woman at the top in business, academics, more scientists,” etc and I agree if they deserve those positions, but I don’t want to be handed something just to meet a gender quota, do you? I would certainly hope not. Now, there are some “good ol’ boys” from the, “good ol’ boys,” club that will undoubtedly keep a woman down because, according to them, “we need to know our place,” and to those dudes I say, fuck off I do what I want, I am not a well behaved woman and never have been (suspended about every year in school with straight A’s whats up? Haha). In that regard though, there needs to be some restructuring, some shattering of old ideals, and some people need to be fired, but to tear every man down to replace him with a woman just to balance things out seems preposterous unless he doesn’t deserve to be there and she does. 


You want to know what subject no one talks about? We all promote woman in male dominated fields but no one is promoting and letting boys and men know that its awesome to enter into female dominated fields. My biological father was a registered nurse, a field 90% dominated by females. He was harassed often and told he didn’t belong there, how messed up is that? So if you think this problem of putting genders down or just not equally propping them up, doesn’t go both ways, please stand back and open your eyes. We are human, we need each other, there are things woman do better than men and visa versa, we have a subtle and beautiful balance, a ying and yang, so please stop with this gender tribalism. Its not Men Vs. Woman, its TEAM HUMAN RACE!


The woman that told me about her son said something that I have to quote because I don’t think it can be said any better, she said and I paraphrase, 


“I want equality, not female domination.”

What are your thoughts? Comment below! And please don't yell at me :)

Photo by g-stockstudio/iStock / Getty Images

Photo by g-stockstudio/iStock / Getty Images

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